Still no job prospects minimum wage or otherwise. So I've been indulging in favorite reinvigorated past times (gaming mostly) as well as new social media outlets.

First allow me to plug my Twitter page: Follow me on Twitter.
Its whats going on in my life and my views on gaming, art, and general inquiries. Much easier to maintain than a full out self-revolving blog.

Art wise I'm still bouncing around on projects, picking up a few freelance things here and there but having life kick the motivation, to complete those projects, out of me. I'm grateful to have picked up those projects as it has introduced me to expanding my horizons style-wise (e.g my first foray into drawing anime/chibi as my former art style was much too realistic for the intended project). Deadlines for work that takes the backburner in life, which are side projects for those whom I do it, are not as high priority as I would like. Yet I still plug away at it.

As a gamer I've...:

• ...reacquainted myself with the X360 while alienating the PC, what a reversal.


• ...picked up Fable 2 among others (Too Human, Burnout: Revenge, Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, and Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix). Thoroughly enjoyed Fable 2 and viewed the ending as not much a let down but more a opening for a sequel. Too Human, though lacking smooth cinematic animations, was a great play especially for one who enjoys collecting an abundant pile of weapons and armor. Borrowed Gears of War 2 from a friend as well and enjoyed the story immensely (at least they attempted to integrate a romance into an action game).


• ...now begun sitting on my hands waiting for FEAR2, Onechanbara, X-Blades, Street Fighter IV, and Star Ocean: The Last Hope.

In general life, the fam is in the processes of moving to warmer climes. Namely the city of Mira Loma, Riverside County, CA. Still have several months out from this, if the housing market jumps back up and we sell quickly. Being away from friends I've gathered over the years will bring me the most pain (online gaming with them will be a poor substitute to LAN parties), also not seeing the snow for years will drive me crazy.

So hopefully this year will be better than the last. Maybe this year prosperity will come back in full force to this crippled country. Maybe its best that it doesn't perhaps... what am I saying?! Of course I want that prosperity back, just that thought alone makes me think of the unAmerican douche that is Stephen Fowler. Ha, like how I got that jab in? Anyhow, I hope to dust off the scanner and actually post things (still extremely gun shy).

24 and a year closer to a nice cozy coffin/urn/mangled vehicle... >.>


What have I been doing this past year?

• Working on my CompTIA A+ Certification. Certificates are always a nice plus on a resume next to that Bachelor of Science in Game Design & Development (I whole heartedly believe that it wasn't for naught).


• Hopping back and forth from one project to another on a near daily basis... damn ADD *angryface*


• Applying to every job I can get details on, but in this (CRUTCH ALERT!!) economy that's a major source of woes.

As a gamer what have I been doing this past year?

• I haven't touched a PC/X360 game in nearly a month or more.


• Eagerly anticipating the releases of Fable 2 (the Limited Edition version which I pre-ordered, optimistic that I'd have a job by now), Gears of War 2, and Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3.

All in all I think I've come out of this year breaking even, but falling in the red just might be inevitable. As I look around childhood friends have let their dream jobs pass by in favor of stability and practicality, in effect abandoning their dreams...

Is it wrong to except anything less than your dreams?
Is it wrong to believe that the "American Dream" is still possible, just not probable?

If so, I don't know why I'm still "alive" and why I'm fighting the norm to be a hamster trapped on a wheel. Idealist? Dreamer? YES on both counts. Unrealistic? Perhaps, but to be "unreal" is to dream beyond reality, to hope for something outside of a 5'x5' box.


An interesting comparison of me a day after my 21 birthday, 3 years ago:

• 21st Birthday Journal Entry

derelict.Action System [Protocol-4W0L]

>>Enter Security Code:
>># ### ### #######
>>Invalid Security Code
. ... ... .......
>>Security Bypassed

{Warning: Unauthorized Access Detected!}
{Welcome back, #User#}

>>You've been absent for: 75w 1d 12h 26m 10s
>>d.A Watch: 1776
>>Inbox: 563


=Start Log = 20080808_01:13:48=
{WARNING!! Decryption Error! Data Corrupt!. ... ... .......}


Finally, 0v3r being p1553d @ d.A, f0r 73h moment. *|<n0c|< on w00d*

>>SET STATUS:
>>[ACTIVE]

Many pr0j3c75 in pr09r355, vv0r|<5 r4n91n9 fr0m weapons, equipment,
ch4r4c73r concepts, 1nclud1n9 architectural/cityscape d3519n5.

Experimenting with odd 1d345 7h47 frequently corrode and combust |V|y brain.

>>System Trace: ACTIVE ...
>>Triangulation: 20sec ...


1n |V|y 4853nc3 I h4v3 connected to several networks:

• Home [Under Construction]


• Facebook


• Twitter


• Linked In


• gamerDNA


• Xfire

{WARNING!! Decryption Error! Data Corrupt!. ... ... .......}


>>System Timeout Imminent!


Will return with plans and info at an undisclosed time.

---------------------- Fmr SPC. Winston R. Chang, M312C3N412Y
=End Log = 20080808_01:29:04=


SYSTEM ERROR:TERMINATING

Well it looks like today in my 'Notes' I have recieved a notice of my dA violations.
They are as follows as well as a description of it and why (also of note since my comp had to be reimaged I've lost all the original deviation files, was actually relying on dA to give me some of my art back... fat chance):

Title: DeviantID_20060228
Oh my much beloved DeviantID, formed from the many online faces of my character Adryanna Direshade... including my game avatar of myself *sigh*, unfortunately the use of screenshots from games that you have rightfully paid for and edited are in violation.  I'm not to broken up on this one.

Title: Zombify Progression
Ok, yeah this one was a direct photo manip without the ugly german dudes permission.  Bah, no real loss just a cool zombification.

Title: AB-Nimue 1 05
WTF?  Part of my original Art Bible, that I spent hours on.  Nights burning away at my soul, every bit of it the text, the art, the style was my own!  Apparently the slightest hint of ANY picture that you may have grabbed off of Google Image search (which in this case was a low res photo of some lake) will result in an immediate violation.  That or they actually thought I had scanned the artwork from an actual source.  ARGHHH!!  This piece was one of much pride and joy of the medieval and futuristic versions of the Lady of the Lake, Nimue.  This is one of the few violations that I would give an actual piece of my soul to get back. >

Title: Might and Magic Beckons...
Yeah, violation since it was almost a collage of pictures that were PUBLICLY released for the game.  Bah, whatever.

Title: Serena... a metallic soul.
Hmmm, this was a Desktop Screenshot, of MY OWN deviation seen here -> [link]
All that I changed was remove the "Moonbot" title.  But it was a desktop screenshot so whatever.

Title: CoV Matriarch of Shadows Wall
Another screenshot of a game that I paid for.  WTF gives?  Whatever happened to "screenshot or it didn't happen"? Fuck it.

Title: A blanket of warm Darkness...
Ditto.  A quick edit of a screenie.

Title: He is a ramen assassin...
Ditto.  A quick edit of a screenie of ME.

Title: Toxic Lightning Trip
Thought this one was 'da shyt', it was from another Deviant edited and added the eyes of "Serena" to complete the acid tripped skull.  Unfortunately all I did was link the Deviant, and now I don't even know his ID nor do I have the source file, it would be a fruitless endeavor to reinstate this deviation. *cries* Bah, screw it.

Title: A Homage to Might und Magic
Bah, probably the desktop screenshot of "Might and Magic Beckons..."  I hate that dA doesn't give like a 1-Day Grace Period.  You know?  Give us 1-Day to take down the deviations in fucking violation or allow us to appeal before you do something so abrupt.

Title: The Many, The Proud, The Evil
Bah, another game screenshot, this one from the CoV beta period.  Whatever.

Title: AB-wR4NG3D Tech 1 08
A second page of my Art Bible.  Featuring the many small arms in my prototype game.  Times like this I'd really like one of these guns and mow down certain unnamed people/organizations (not to worry, deviants watching and watchers excluded).  Another soul rendering piece for me.  GIVE IT BACK GOD DAMN YOU... and in return I'll exclude you from the list.

Title: AB-wR4NG3D Tech 2 09
A third page (second in its series) in my Art Bible.  It featured the long ranged weapons of my prototype game.  Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!  Same thing happened as with "AB-Nimue 1 05", I took a blurry low res image of a cabinet, A FUCKING CABINET used as a backdrop for a gunrack (yes cabinets can fuck, if I jam it up your ass, so no smart comments bud) >.<.  This would recieve another bit of what is left of my soul if I could get it back.
*shakes fist, then proceeds to maim random people*

What pisses me off is that it points to the deviantArt Help Desk, which provides no answers on how to appeal the removal of deviations.  I don't really care if they are put back in my gallery I just want them to send me any picture files they have of mine to me.

Any help from those that have endured reading this rant would be most appreciated.  Thank you.

8|_3|-| ... 3d17 |_87|2 ... 833|| 4vv4Y f|20|V| "dA" f0|2 F4|2|2|2|2, 2 |_0||9.

4773|V|p75 2 d3<1p|-|3|2 vv1|_|_ |235U|_7 1|| 4 8|241|| 4||3U|2y5|V|.

|-|4/3 4 900d d4y. ^^

Threat Assesment Re-evaluation concerning previous update >>> [link]

=Start Log = 20060427_23:34:20=

Threat Assesment of codename "Moonbot".
The division has taken a larger toll that what was previously predicted.  Reaction from the former camps' members has been less than... civil.  
Paranoia and subterfuge seem to be the order of the day.  The camp has erected walls and barriers, both concrete and abstract.  
Like a kicked dog, they barricade themselves in a corner awaiting the next blow.  

In order to reconcile this divide, this canyon of pain and mistrust.  I have personally undertook several diplomatic missions in hopes that both camps can be at peace, unfortunately as the dog is wary of any intrusion, as are they.  
Even willing to bite the outstreched hand that offers an olive branch.

Furthermore, recent intel has surfaced that the Moonbot camp is spreading propaganda in order to subvert once loyal operatives and gain public support.  This tactic seems to be working marginally.  
Further it is quite disconcerting to have messages of distrust and libel spread amongst the ranks.

My idealistic vision of 'a day when both camps will one day forge together to create GREATNESS' appears to have been a fool's statement
made in the heat of emotion and pride.  Also in the mindset that our peers would have enough maturity and professionalism to put aside these petty grudges and agree that in the end we are stronger as a whole.  

Alas, due to these recent events I am unsure of this prospective future and hereby recommend that we adopt a stance of readiness and preparation for a bloody war.
In turn we should also solidify the loyalties of our other operatives and agents,
not just to turn public opinion but also gain the blessings of the various Lieutenants [codename Flamingo, Hyena aka "Hy-Koala", and DiscJockey] as well as their General [codename Gerbil].
In order to secure further aid, vital intel, and supplies.

Let it be known that there is one part of my previous evaluation that I full heartedly support:
"... we are warriors, veterans of hardships and champions of adversity, thus we shall let NOTHING stop us from achieving our goals."

The times ahead appear to be dark and foreboding.
The trenches have been dug, the diplomats dismembered, ties have been broken, and now we await the first shots of a most bloody war.

---------------------- SPC. Winston R. Chang, of the GDD 8th Hatchet Division

=End Log = 20060428_00:26:34=




On a more hopeful side I hope to enlist in the ranks of these elite soldiers:




:: START UPDATE :: New Intel Acquired :: = 20060502_23:16:12=


The discovery of several messages have once again opened up the lines of communication, somewhat, between Camp Moonbot and Camp Squirt.

Though the feelings and wounds are still a bit fresh most of the messages have leaned towards a possible peace and suturing of these wound(s).

Moonbot has expressed appreciation directed towards one person for actively forging an uneasy dialogue, along with supressing fire that seems to be leveled towards the lack of communication and non-inclusion between former group members as to why and if such a divide was truly necessary.  
Words such as "elitism" have also come up.

The Hope for GREATNESS may yet not be lost... but this is no guarantee, and at this stage is a pipe dream.

Our intelligence networks are gathering further intel, and dialogue with Camp 'Moonbong' (henceforth they wish to be addressed as) has been initiated.

:: END UPDATE :: = 20060502_23:22:42=

Ahh, no it is not about a real girl rather the ill fated story behind my current desktop, and recent deviation [link] .

=Start Log = 20060425_22:39:20=

The inevitable conflict of ideas and creative drive coupled with a certain lack of motivation when a group engages in a collective idea.
The outcome is one of tragedy but also of renewed fervor, which in turn brings about great emotions of betrayal and guilt amongst even the closest knit of comrades.
No, the division of such a group and 'vote of no confidence' in the former camp is not a wrong move, nor a personal one...
it is but an inevitability, much like death, as our paths diverge we must follow it to its end whatever that may be.

Life in both camps will be harsh during the transition period, but both camps shall move on ("that which does not kill you, only makes you stronger").  
Whether it be for better or for worse, who is to definitively say that one or the other will succeed or fail, perhaps neither will succed or fail.  

All that really can be said is we are warriors, veterans of hardships and champions of adversity,
thus we shall let NOTHING stop us from achieving our goals.

Mark my words that a day will come when both camps will one day...
one day, forge together to create *dramatic pause* GREATNESS.

---------------------- SPC. Winston R. Chang, of the GDD 8th Hatchet Division

=End Log = 20060425_22:52:07=

Its getting close to 2am on a Saturday ( technically Sunday ;| ), and I am in one of worst ruts EVER.  I look at the games on my desktop and sigh as I don't feel like opening any of them up!  For the first time in ... well... ever I don't feel like playing games.  They all seem to be "been there, done that... about a million times".
The solution: NEED NEW GAMES!!!  Unfortunately motivation to go out and find a nice external HD, as a precursor to buying and installing new games, and drive to go to the bank (which is at the opposite end of town btw) is lacking.  So as laziness and sloth overcome me I am met with one outcome, utter dispair.  Jeeez, kicking a can right about now seems more fun than playing Guild Wars let alone Yu-Gi-Oh! or watching movies.  I think I will do that...

Congratulations!
Boss Stage 07 Complete
::
You have earned RANK C!

Yeahhh... By far the most difficult stage in the game, Stage 06 was a bitch to finish just because I was skipping through most of the little things .  But this one was just plain convoluted and the waves of deadly objects to destroy/dodge were numerous and mind boggling.
Was able to defeat two sub-bosses with ease (1 I had the aid of 4 allies so that one was quite a weak but fun boss to take down), the FINAL boss though was a real pain in the ass to finish up.  I'm most proud of how the textures turned out during the first iteration of the boss, the second iteration was a bit more difficult which made the camera look like it was going into seizures which made my mind crash, throw up, and forced me to restart that stage a couple times to just get it right... *sigh*, that was tough.
The final iteration of the boss was a breeze since most of it was just sitting around doing relatively nothing, unfortunately I didn't have time to redo it which made the final quality of completion quite atrocious.
But the bosses have been defeated... for now.  My allies and I have ranging amounts of damage to their vehicles and are about to take a week long recovery in drydock.  Hopefully by Stage 08 we will be back to 100% with perhaps a couple superbombs as aces in our sleeves.  The Game knows that we'll be needing them and is more than likely prepared to negate them, yet we try.  So until then I shall unplug The Game and start refreshing on completion strategies like a pre-emptive strike... now was that special Down, D, Down, C, Up, B, Up, A? Or perhaps Down, D, Up, B, Up, B, Up, A?  I'll take a look at that in a couple days.

(Hint: If you can translate what I just typed you will have Unlocked a Special, earn 2000 credits to your High Score.  Await further intel and instructions for Stage 08)

Oi, less than a week left in the quarter : .
3 Finals: TorqueScript/Design , AI-Boardgame, & AnimationPresentation
Torque is finally going well, figured out how to due credits and menus and such (so very st00pid of me, just had to reuse code from the playerProfileGui).  Now I'm at least marginally confident in my abilities.
AI has us doing a full scale boardgame I have no worries on this one I'm confident in the abilities of my teammates and the project itself even though we are all modeling, animating, and rendering feverishly for the other final.  IMO the CoH boardgame looks pretty good thus far its just the amount of information that needs to be processed from a digital media to simple cards and sheets of paper... obviously computer games are able to become boardgames (Doom and WoW) but, just, damn.

Animation is the BIGGEST concern for all, I'm still having troubles with modeling a wing despite ample acquired reference art, don't get me started on how I'm going to be able to attach it to the model seamlessly and animated properly >X?  Texturing the base model is still a LARGE pain but I've found several ways around texturing having to do with modeling.
On top of all this we have presentations to do in Animation (starting to think Flex isnt going to help me at all)... fuckfuck *sigh* I know its not a substantial issue but I just recalled that I have a sociology speech to give tomorrow...

Thus ends another inane rant of wholesome griping.

EDIT: Something to mend my brain.  Now this, this vid is simply BADASS. [link]
It is the new Guild Wars Factions Cinematic Trailer.  There is one point in the movie that just made me yell out "HOLL DAMN" (holy damn said whilst in mid breath).

It is time for a journal:  Yah, early morning Monday here and just by looking outside... oh wait snow is caked on the windows so no view for awhile.  The weathermen say that this is NOT a blizzard but if we had a little more gusting winds it might as well be.  So close to the end of winter, once the snow and ice melt away I'm digging up a shotgun and going groundhog hunting.  Even though the windows are plastered in snow and all I can see is white, going outside to see for myself, the view is the same with 4-8 inches of white shit... aint going into school or anywhere else for that matter.

In other news, school is starting to feel like that wet snow outside: heavy and not moving anywhere anytime soon.  I come to these midpoints during every school year/quarter and do a week long self evaluation, even if that comes out to be quite negative I strive on and claw my way out of the coffin until that last nail can be put into place.  For this quarter's final project I have hit a massive roadblock, the modeling for my 4ng3l is done (except for wings that will be added once I learn the modifier Flex) now the texturing is a HUGEMONGOUS concern, this and what type of weapon and shield the 4ng3l will be carrying -- will post these later, hopefully to get some input as to favorites -- besides this Torque class is starting to be a real drag.  I mean Unreal was really god damn easy for me, but Torque is just a little too much scripting for my taste (fuck yo I dropped out of the UofM because of programming, following the family business is not my idea of fun).  In the end I dont mind programming, much, but if I can get away without doing it I would.

Its already the middle of the quarter, here with the GDD, the 'Guinea Pig Class' (as I have personally dubbed our class) has just finished up a surprisingly fun midterm assignment... though spending 25hrs without sleep was somewhat of a drag. Eh well, it is extraodinarily unlikely anyone reads this, but in my previous journal entry [link] I had listed all my contact info pertaining to MMOs. Well now I've been reduced to 1 on the list and a new one.

Guild Wars is of course free and I frequent that every now and then (CoH/V sent me into a downward spiral last quarter nearly forcing me out of the GDD program... so I am currently in rehab from those MMOs).

The new MMO that I am currently "into" is FlyFF (Fly - For Fun [link]). If you enjoy a thorough level grind that is absolutely free than this is a game for you. Pros & Cons:
+Anime stylized characters
+Skill Auto-combos & Level by use (the more you use it the more powerful it is ala Dungeon Siege)
+Diverse community
+Facinating and at time mind-boggling/hilarious enemy designs
+100 plus level cap
-MASSIVE ENGRISH [link]
-No way to config your controls
-Diverse community (asking a simple question like what is "Pxp" will get you no reply, not even the compulsory "RTFF n00b!" ~Read the Fucking Forums n00b!~)
[Note: Pxp allows you to level up your class specific abilities]
-Site Forums (almost unintelligible, FAQs just drop you at the forums where there really isn't any explanation or help as to what certain items you pick up do)

Overall I am enjoying this game a break from my already hectic life. If you are interested you can find me on the:
Aibatt - Normal 2-1 server as, Adryanna. <-- the name is my mainstay as it is a character I've developed for GDD.


Please excuse me if I am you I really havent checked my mail on DA for awhile, I currently have: 223 "NEW" messages... so it'll be awhile 'til I can look and comment on all. Thanks.

I just feel the need to say some shit then fall into a pit of darkness being eaten by a strawberry jello monster... like anyone actually reads this crap i spew from the orifice of pigs...
CoV (City of Villains) subscription crapped out on me a week ago and I am still feeling severe bouts of withdrawal and homicidal tendencies... must kill... one... more... boss...
Hope to get on before the holiday break... server update:
Guardian:
CoH - Adryanna Shades
CoV - Arcmagus Da'kan Xaoh  [arch nemesis of Adryanna]

Justice:
CoH - Valkyrie Vigdisgraf
CoV - Grasping Shrapnel
CoV - Andre Zohkuf
CoV - Banshee's Echo

Sorry I havent looked at others i'v watched in ages... school, homicidal visions, withdrawal, drunken stupidity and homicidal visions have preoccupied my time.  This and the voices that tell me to hug bright pink fluffy kittens that tear out eyes of jelly beans and fat hobo gods of puss filled sweetness...

Check back later for more insane machinations of a rotting mind.

Huzzah, turned the big 21 on Sunday.  Lived it up by playing a continuous <bug-mired, yet enjoyable> 18 hour marathon of the City of Villains Beta - Stress Test.  All this while drinking the only thing that was in the house at the time... Michellob Genuine Draft... <bleach> (where is my sweet sweet vodka when I needed you).  Yes, I know that was one sad day.

Eh well, my impressions on CoV were great, can't wait until it releases on Halloween.  Strong points I've seen thus far are the graphical upgrades since City of Heroes.  There is more than just 4 stale textures <w00t!>, instead of enemies either falling on their backs or keeling over when defeated it has Half-Life 2-esque Ragdoll physics (just imagine someone on a rooftop and you shoot him down Old West style, satisfying to say the least as he tumbles off and crumples at your feet),  also new is the great renditions and newcomer "archetypes" (i.e classes).  I literally spent 45 minutes creating a unique character with CoH/CoV character creation editor, so many possibilities it makes the mind spin... much better than the 10 odd choices on WoW characters.

For those interested City of Heroes can usually be purchased around 20(US$), and if you have CoH, City of Villains the expansion is either free or has a one-time fee of 20-50(US$).  Either way the monthly fee of CoH= 15.99, with CoV its CoH+CoV=15.99.  So two great games for a nice price IMHO better gameplay and multiplayer experience than WoW.

Following is for those knowlegable of CoH: (www.cityofheroes.com respectively www.cityofvillains.com)

The Archetypes include Brutes, Stalkers, Masterminds, Dominators, and Corruptors:

Brutes: are like the Tankers from CoH with a scrapper twist, but rather than focusing on defense Brutes are offensive (think the brutes from Halo 2) more they take damage the more they dish it out... as they say 'the best defense is a good offense' and the Brutes exemplify this.

Stalkers: are the equivalent of Scrappers from CoH, biggest differences are that they are marketed as assassins and masters of CQB (close-quarters).  To make this true their first secondary power is "Hide" which is complete invisibility (you can dance in front of your enemies and they wouldnt know it) 3 benefits of Hide: 1. Allows you to slip by high level enemies in order to get to unreachable areas otherwise; 2. When you attack you have a larger chance to land a critical strike.; 3. Each 'type' (martial arts, claws, ninja blade, spines, etc.) has a signature 'assassin strike' that is able to kill an enemy of equal level (or lower) or even a level higher outright... with the proper Enhancements.

Masterminds: are the new archetype, if you like to command an entourage and have your minions (whether they be: robots, soldiers, ninjas, or zombies) do your dirty work.  Whats fun is that this class can solo the easiest as they have 1-3 (depending on level) pseudo-tanks, also amusing is you can have your 'pets' use various emotes (ex: have your robot give you a high five, which <graphically only> stuns you, or have it dance to disco).

Dominators: are closely related to controllers of CoH.  2 differences separate it from CoH: 1. It has a new power 'Plant Control', which gives you powers like entangling vine and such; 2. As you deal damage your "Domination" meter will rise, once its full you will be able to recover health and endurance (mana) at a quicker rate as well as dish out considerably more damage, plus your powers will recharge faster.

Corruptors: finally are blasters with limited healing secondary powers.  Apparently having a dedicated healer is viewed as a weakness if you are a villain... can't say much on Corruptors though, since I haven't met nor tried them.

<END_NOTE: If you want to catch me I'm on GUARDIAN as Adryanna Shades.>